Hungry for Tenderness
There is a very tender quality to life, to existence. And while there is also a hardiness, it is this tenderness that calls to me because we are all so hungry for it.
Our thread here to this life is tenuous — we never know. We are not fragile beings, but our bodies are fragile creatures. We often want to pretend they are not, but often we are shown this fragility in the blink of an eye. We also believe our hearts to be fragile, and while physically they can be, emotionally they are much stronger than we think. Yes, they can break. But if we go all the way into that heartbreak, the heart breaks open and through the broken-open heart, tenderness can begin to pour out.
It is this tenderness that has been trampled in our fear of our humanity. We learn to succeed at all costs, to continually improve, to continually grow and outdo what we did the day before. But we are not taught about the other ‘side’ of life that so many believe might make us weak creatures — not fragile like the thread of our existence is — but weak as in easy to dominate because we score great points here in our systems when we are in a position of domination and control.
This tenderness is what the small child in each of us longed to know, but it wasn’t often, if at all, around. It is this tenderness that frightens us because it is a tenderness that penetrates to the core of the heart. It will, if we let it, soften our armor and melt the walls that keep others out. It will, if we let it, heal soul sickness and soul sickness is what we are suffering from. Soul sickness comes when we are separated from love, from each other, from the aliveness we crave, from our hearts, from our bodies, from life.
If you become still, very still, you can feel life’s tenderness. It’s the quivering of consciousness. It’s the vibration and flutter of life. It is love. A love for life. A love of life. It is a love not for itself but for the whole of life of which it is a part. We feel this flutter of life not just through the mind being mindful, but through the heart that awakens when the mind grows quiet. Often we stay in the mind with a mindfulness practice, but we can open to the heart through a mind that grows more trusting.
A number of years ago, I wrote that we need a revolution of tenderness. We do. We need leaders who can be tender. Not only tender, but also tender. Leaders who can feel life and can feel how to move with life.
If you’re interested in awakening tenderness, I’m good at guiding people to remember their wholeness.
Registration is open for my new intimate group coaching program for women — Awakening Eros. 12 women. 6 months. A deep journey into the kind of leadership that will change how you are in your life, your body, and your relationship with everything around you. You can learn more here.
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Whatever you do, explore your tender nature, this beautiful aspect of yourself and life.
